By Debbie Mandel

Are you feeling tired, the kind of tired where nothing really matters anymore? Have your energy levels dipped to the point that you feel like you are dragging around a leg iron while your endless to-do list keeps growing? You might be suffering from compassion fatigue. You can reliably diagnose whether you are suffering from compassion fatigue if after you help someone out whether a family member, friend, colleague or stranger, you feel resentful! You start muttering inaudibly, "Why do I always have to do it?" or "Why doesn't anyone do something for me?" It's time to stop helicoptering over everyone else and helicopter over yourself for a change.

Emotional fatigue usually correlates with disappointment. Perhaps, you are blown about in all directions because you are running away from the deficits of your personality. If you stop and reflect, you might have to face your personal unhappiness. You might feel drained because you have been begging for scraps of attention, approval, financial security and love. Ironically, you never had to beg in the first place because you already possess all these jewels. Maybe you don't know where to look for them.

The antidote to fatigue is to get all fired up and forge your creative expression. What makes your heart sing? Your beliefs control your world; whether you believe that you can or can't do something, you will prove yourself right! Meanwhile your children are watching you and absorbing your mood. Reboot your sense of purpose and see if that doesn't jumpstart your energy and happiness. Who were you before you became a colleague, a spouse and a parent? Revive that inner child who has not forgotten how to have fun and play. It helps to see your life as a sit-com because if it were happening to someone else you would be laughing. If life gives you lemons, who says that you have to make lemonade? You can throw away the lemons if you don't want to make lemonade. It's time to harness your authentic power, take off your mask and turn your stress into strength.

Here are eight concrete strategies you can percolate to feel vital and reasonably happy:

• Have a good fight! Perhaps you are swallowing too much, suppressing your needs for the sake of others, being far too accommodating. Conflict is not a win or lose situation. Conflict opens the door to change.
• Don't be an unrealistic optimist! Perhaps you have expected too much and so your disappointment is all the greater. Aim for small successes. Each mini-success will fuel your enthusiasm and drive you to achieve more.
• Build-up your self-concept. Maybe you have been talking yourself down internally or internalizing only the critical comments about your endeavors. Most of us tend to focus on what we don't have; in other words, we ruminate about that single negative remark, forgetting about all the compliments we receive. Every day list all the compliments people give you. Soon you will have a more accurate self-concept.
• Are you fighting too much? I know I told you to have a good fight, but are you expending too much energy proving that you are always right? Try to win by losing - apologize to your spouse when you are wrong and win. It's good to let your children win sometimes.
• Tighten your mind and listen attentively. Multi-tasking slows you down and it's rude.
• Don't let others steal your time. Get a big do not disturb sign and put your phone machine on. Spend your time wisely instead of wasting it. There is great productivity in rest.
• Be less involved in the product, the outcome, and more involved in the process.
• Whatever you do, experience the present - don't dilute it! If you are on a school trip, don't talk on your cell phone.

Well, I have to go now because the next item on my to-do list is FUN.

Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life, a stress-management specialist, the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WGBB AM1240 in New York City, produces a wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com